This pain that ravages
spoils the memory
Forever it seems
waiting for it to cease
When victory is denied
through daily struggle,
The search for strength
dives deeper within.
Creation of Relentless Love and SALE!!!
Hello friends! Happy Monday! Today here in Western Montana it’s a crazy 47 degrees and rainy, with new snow on the mountains! So nuts for mid-July! But I absolutely love rainy weather, the way every becomes so alive and green, cool and fresh. The fact that I don’t have to bathe in sunblock any time I want to go outside is also a bonus! While it has once again been MONTHS since my last post, we have so much to talk about! Our little family is preparing for Gus to start school soon, husband is looking to possibly change careers and is handsome as ever, and I am continuing my journey with my web-shop and ever-working towards a fuller picture of mental and physical health. The latter is the reason for my break in blog posting. I tell you, starting medications and therapy can be the equivalent of starting something like P90X after not working out for 10 years! Working out those emotional muscles can be so painful, but so rewarding! I am feeling more like myself than I have in years! I have been experiencing more ability in social situations, so much joy and freedom in my parenting. If you are going through a rough patch of your own, I want you to know it’s ok to ask for help! I have struggled for years with the idea of taking medication to help myself. As a young teenager, medication was how I was taught to handle all my issues, not looking at root issues for the sickness caused by depression and anxiety. By the time I was 18-19, I’d had enough. After years of searching for chemical assistance and finding no help, hitting wall after wall, I was set free by Jesus! Hallelujah! Two years later I found an amazing Christian counselor who helped me work through my emotions in a healthy way, furthering my success in the mental health arena! But now, almost 10 years later, I hit another wall. And my old exercises, mantras just weren’t enough anymore. Angry, depressed and ashamed, I hid away. I thought of it as a failure. I hated the thought that I couldn’t help myself through my will, through exercise, I couldn’t force myself to be better, think happier thoughts….but I’m living proof that those chemical imbalances do indeed exist. It’s not just all in my head. Finding an empathetic doctor was for me a massive step in the right direction. I hate going to the doctor, but as I am edging closer and closer to 30, I have found that my body and mind are changing, and so I also need to change the way I approach caring for myself. I do need some help. And that’s ok, friends. I am so thankful to find the help I need, professionals that work with me to find a solution. Now, before we move on to business talk, I want to know about your journeys, if you are willing to share, even just a little bit. What are you overcoming, where are you experiencing victory?
This week, with the help of a friend and her awesome camera, I was able to upload some new work to the web-shop, new sizes and refreshed pictures of old favorites! It was a very intense two day process, and I’m very pleased with the outcome! I’m also on “exhibition” for the very first time! Here in Missoula, at Body Kneads Massage and Wellness you can find three of my original paintings (two for sale) on display! 🙂 Here’s a little preview! My work is on the right side…
Sharlyssa (the owner) is an excellent masseuse and health advisor if you’re local and looking for one, I’d totally recommend her*!
I’m also running my first sale on the website, with 15% off all print orders, commissioned works, and custom sizing through July 13**!
With all this going on, I wanted to share with you the making of the painting that is the inspiration to my vision of the future: Relentless Love. This painting started as a charcoal drawing, highlighting the unconditional love and unrelenting pursuit of God’s love for us. I got the image of a small hut located on a lonely rock in the middle of the ocean, all fortified against the raging waters. A place where one could be independent, hiding away from all others, alone with their false strength, pain, and anger. But God comes in, a storm like no other! A tempest so great, no walls or fortress can resist it. His love crumbling all the defenses we’ve put up, knocking down what we have made, to build us up with Him. As you can see, my skills in drawing are not the best, I needed the movement of paint on canvas to bring out the image in my head that I was having trouble putting on paper! This painting took me about 6 months to complete, as the layering of the waves in their complexity took a while to get just right!
The writing on the drawing says, “Sweet child, you are never so remote, my love will find you. No walls, no hidden fortress will ever be enough to keep out my love for you.” The picture on the bottom right is the finished official photo available for print at Relentlesslovecreations.com. My hope for the future is to share this unconditional love as far as possible!
*If you would like to contact Body Kneads about their services here in Missoula, Montana, please call (406) 240-3957.
**To take advantage of the sale, please use discount code JMRWJ2TS while completing your purchase.
If this painting speaks to you and you would like to purchase a print or see more of my work, please check out my shop at https://relentlesslovecreations.com!
If you would like to keep up to date with my artwork and shop, please like my Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/relentlesslovemt and share with your friends!
Faithful Promise, Another Collaboration!
Hello all! Hoping this post is reaching you very well! Today I have another collaboration between my husband and me, something I thought fitting as just this week we celebrated our 6 year anniversary! 😀
“Faithful Promises”
“The faithful promises that hold her,
All that’s allowed to pass her by.
The days come to an end,
In the same way does the night.
More faithfulness this promise lends
Than the changing of dark to light,
From the fires in the autumn,
To the waters that fall in spring.
With these she has such a song,
The silence ceases as she sings,
Of the promise of the morning,
Of what this new day will bring.”
-Poetry by Lee Soto of chainsawpenguin.wordpress.com
“Faithful Promise” was a painting that spoke to me about the future, about holding on to what the Lord has said He will bring to pass in my life, even when my current circumstances make the path seem hazy or even non-existent. While I do receive a personal narrative for each of my paintings, I am always open to hearing what other people divine from them, and I am always blown away by the added facets that others bring to their meaning. What does it speak to you?
If this painting speaks to you and you would like to purchase a print or see more of my work, please check out my shop at https://relentlesslovecreations.com!
If you would like to keep up to date with my artwork and shop, please like my Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/relentlesslovemt and share with your friends!
Dearest Wolf Spider
Dearest wolf spider,
I hope you rest in peace;
Taken from us too soon
We’ll no longer see your fleece.
For in a frightened fit,
We mistook you for a villain
But the sad truth is
You didn’t deserve that killin’.
All we saw before our eyes
Was a large furry clamor
And in turn, responded with
Our heavy rubber hammer.
A hairy life of benevolence,
Such potential is now lost…
Squished upon our laundry floor,
We’ve yet to learn the cost.
Last week, my husband and I accidentally laid siege to a poor timid wolf spider who, I kid you not, was the size of a doorknob! I’m sad to say we acted before thinking and are now left without that powerful line of bug defense which was our furry friend, the departed. This poem is for the one we now must say goodbye to, much too soon. Live on happy in Spider Heaven, you will be missed.
Haiku for Springtime
Coughing and sneezing
Blow my nose and wipe my eyes
Trees, please stop jizzing.
Where to now?
Last week on my Facebook Artists’ page, I shared with you an old blog post titled Let’s Talk about the Future! which told about the beginning of my business journey, and as promised I’m here to tell you a bit more about the vision I’ve been given and where I feel God is leading me. Back in the spring of last year, I felt led to start up a web shop where I can sell my prophetic abstract artwork in order to not just help prosper my family, but to fund a ministry to spread the healing power that God works when we open ourselves to a creative process with Him. While some of the details are still fuzzy, my plan is to start a prophetic painting workshop or small group locally and expand if led to. So far, selling has been slow, but I’m leaning into His promises while also knowing that not all successes are monetary. And in keeping with pushing forward, I’m still painting, and looking to launch another half dozen new paintings in late spring on the website.
In the meantime, I’d like to share one of my paintings that is currently available for printing and the meaning it has for me. You may have seen “Joy Comes in the Morning” previously here on Relentless Love, but I realize it was posted without context. Truthfully, when I initially finished this piece last October, and for many months after, I avoided putting into words what this painting was for me. I painted this piece at a time of grief, after finding out that a close loved one (my aunt who has since passed) had been given a final timeline after battling terminal illness for a number of years. To me it has been a reminder that even in our darkest times, times of loss, times of sadness, God is still there with us. He is walking with us and holding us. While His purposes are sometimes unknown, His love for us is unconditional and unfailing through all circumstances. I am encouraged by my Father’s ever-loving embrace, and I celebrate it here in this painting!
“Joy Comes in the Morning”
If this painting speaks to you and you would like to purchase a print or see more of my work, please check out my shop at https://relentlesslovecreations.com!
If you would like to keep up to date with my artwork and shop, please like my Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/relentlesslovemt and share with your friends!
Hope in the Darkness
Hey everyone! I hope you are enjoying this beautiful springtime! Here in Western Montana our weather has been a bit bi-polar, but Gus and I haven’t been able to enjoy any of it (warm or cold) due to our allergies unfortunately! Oh well! We’ve been having indoor fun aplenty!
Today I want to share my painting “Hope in the Darkness” with you along with a beautiful collaborative poem by my husband, Lee Soto of ChainsawPenguin (https://chainsawpenguin.wordpress.com). This piece for me has been an encouragement in the battle against depression and anxiety. My dear friends, if this is something you’re fighting, please know you are NEVER alone, there is always someone who hears and answers. Don’t give up hope. Keep pressing forward! You will find a light in that darkness!
“Hope in the Darkness”
“A hope in the darkness shines
There’s the black with light behind.
We have pain, but also given joy.
An upward mindset now employed,
With something to look forward to
When this is all that we can do.
A hope, even as small as this,
is enough to return to bliss.
When a length of time is spent in despair,
It’s enough to know such hope is there.”
Have a wonderful week all!
If this painting speaks to you and you would like to purchase a print or see more of my work, please check out my shop at https://relentlesslovecreations.com!
If you would like to keep up to date with my artwork and shop, please like my Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/relentlesslovemt and share with your friends!
Walking Through a Spiritual Winter
Hello all! I hope I’m finding you well, friends! I think it’s time for a long awaited update! I would like to say that while it’s been forever since I posted last (as often happens), I think it’s important to say that that’s ok! I often stress that I don’t post enough and I will never see success in blogging or my web-shop’s business if I don’t constantly post things, but let’s be real. Sometimes, some days are not ideal times to post. I’m not always as peppy as I’d like. I’m not always in the mood to put on a good face for social media. I’m not up to posing with a superficial happy face….and unfortunately, it hasn’t just been a day or week of these feelings. This winter has been a season of spiritual winter for me, and so I’ve had to step back. While I daily fight the good fight against depression and anxiety, there are still times, these seasons of winter where there is more going on than just the day to day fight. This December I lost my sweet aunt to cancer. The grieving process has been a painful one. What do you do when one of the few people in your life who is there to support you through all the years, who lifts you up with no expectation of reciprocation (which in my family is a big deal) is gone? Even though we hadn’t seen each other face to face in 10 years, through the distance I always new I had some one rooting for me. Sadly, because of the distance, I am left to grieve on my own. I am still in this process. Even though it has been months now, often the loss feels just as fresh.
So how do you handle facing each day and it’s pressures while also working in a healthy manner to get through the pain of loss? Times when you have to face sadness by yourself, when those that you feel should walk through it with you aren’t there? For me, the answer comes in the phrase “Quality, not quantity,” words of wisdom I have looked to often in life! Sometimes our friends and relatives that are our normal support are not available or able to be there to lift you up, to cry with you, to share stories with you, to encourage you. I’ve been through times like this before. It’s not always a death that we face. It could be a divorce, it could be moving somewhere new. At these times, I try to push myself to be thankful. To see those around me that are investing in me, even if it’s not who you think should be coming aside you, there are people there, sometimes popping out of unexpected places! And if you don’t see people, there is always a faithful Father who knows your heart, who will come and hold you when you need Him. He will never leave you alone. He is our constant support. Even if He is the only one you can turn to, He is the ultimate. “Quality not quantity.” Try to remember that what we see in front of our faces is not always something to take at face value. Not always is the winter cold and harsh, there is more going on below the surface, more that we cannot see. Winter is also a time of rest, to germinate, before we see the growth above the ground. You will get through the darkness, to find something beautiful on the other side. Looking to God in this time has brought interesting results I would never have expected. While facing the loss of one of my favorite people, I have also been pushed through the process of starting my own business. In many ways, it’s saved me from wallowing in places that are unhealthy, kept me busy and looking outward instead of focusing only inward. Relentlesslovecreations.com is something I’m proud of, and am looking forward to growing and improving. I’m excited to see where God takes this business, to see how it can be used for His glory, to see just what part I have to play in how He reaches His loved ones.
So today I say spring is coming! I have hope for tomorrow, and will continue to look forward!
It’s LAUNCH DAY!!!
That’s right, y’all! After about 11 months of planning, painting, campaigning, and construction, relentlesslovecreations.com is live! I have 14 pieces available for purchase, many with multiple size options, and all with fast priority shipping!
Launch Announcement!
My shop is launching next Monday, guys! I hope you’re just as excited as I am! I will be offering prints on selected artworks, with more to come!
Relentless Love 